A baby. A er all these years of me wanting one and him not wanting one, now he wants a baby. When nally I have lost the desire for one. Our children are seven and ve. I don’t know that I can handle a new- born again. I’d thought we were in agreement on the adoption.
I look out the window into the night. e trees are lea ess and still. e sky must be cloudy because I can’t see any stars. Winter is upon us; the days are cold and sunless. I shiver, wondering if it’s my skin or my soul that’s chilled.
On the way to the o ce in the morning, I run into Walgreens to get another test. Once at work, I hole myself up in the bathroom. I got a digital test this time. ere is a little hourglass sign in the window to show it’s working. While I wait I coat my lips with lip gloss and twist my earrings around in my ears. When I look down at the test again, it’s done. Pregnant.